ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
