Well apparently he's into motor boating.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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