Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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