32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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