Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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