okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
