This is not my ceiling
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
