Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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