Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm both gender and math confused
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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