ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
