he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
