We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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