Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
