in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Girls should come with a carfax report
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
