Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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