Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
