just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
