I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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