I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
