btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
