i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
