Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
