guys are only as good as the porn they watch
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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