woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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