Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
