Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
