sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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