he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
