You work out of a Hotel?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she looked like the before picture.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
