I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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