I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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