I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
