Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
