Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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