I CAN MOONWALK!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
