i think my mom watched the whole time
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
