Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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