I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
