therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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