I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dicks are not precious.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
