You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
