It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
