well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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