SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
