I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm sobbing to NWA
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
