Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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