K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
home. puking in laundry basket.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
