how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
