i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
