I think im going to throw up on grandma
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
