you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
