I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
