dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
