So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
